Road Trips and Texas
by 245-Jordan-136
Summary: Edward is obsessive and crazy so Bella leaves him. He goes to Denali and before he can return the Cullen's take off on a roadtrip to Texas. Peter/Bella- Rated M for language, violence andsome other stuff.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so tell me what you think of this one, please…**

**Its my first Peter/Bella story.**

**I hate Bella in the books. She's way too whiney and bitchy.**

**So, in this story, she wont be so whiney and bitchy. She shall be badass. **

**And I hate how Stephanie Meyer never addressed the fact that Bella gets her period. I mean, it MUST be uncomfortable for the vamps.**

**So, that will definitely be in here.**

**;)**

**Chapter One**

Bella POV

"Oooh Emmy…I'm gonna beat you!" I shouted as we played our favorite video game, Halo. I was obviously winning. And….. HA! I beat him.

"How the fuck did you, a human, beat me, an amazingly skilled in all subjects vampire?" He gasped in confusion.

I smirked, cracking my knuckles, "I'm just that fuckin' good, Em."

"Well once you're as awesomely strong as a vampire, we'll wrestle and I'll beat you at that because I, _I _am a _man, _and you are _only _a _woman_," he grinned.

Rose smacked him in the back of the head, "Don't be sexist," She laughed. "She'll beat your ass Emmett."

"Hell yeah!" I grinned and knuckle bumped with Rose.

I heard a gasp, "Isabella Swan! How dare you use that language!" It was Edward.

"More like Dickward," I thought aloud.

"NICE!" Emmett grinned.

"I agree completely," Rose sneered toward Edward.

"Isabella, come here now!" He shouted.

I got up and walked over to him. He wasn't like a boyfriend anymore, more like a parole officer. He handed me a bar of soap, "Go wash your mouth out."

I blinked, un-amused. "Fuck no!"

He picked me up and I saw Jasper and Alice coming down the stairs. They shot me a look of sympathy. They knew how much I hated when he was like this. He brought me to the bathroom and put the soap in my hand.

"Come on, Edward," I heard Emmett say behind the door.

"You know this is ridiculous!" Alice shouted.

"Go away guys, she said some words that should never leave a _lady's _mouth. You understand don't you, love?" Edward was looking down at me, he's gone mental! What the shit is wrong with this guy?

"Not in slightest, you shit head, have you lost your mind? And I'm not a _lady_ I, in case your too thick to understand am at the very least, I am unrefined and crude! Get that through your skull you imbecile!" I shouted at him.

"SOAP BELLA!"

I threw the soap on the ground and stomped on it. "SOAP EDWARD!"

He just stood there, twitching.

"I can't stand this anymore Edward! I can't stand YOU anymore!" I screamed. "I hate how you've become! You're hardly even a boyfriend anymore! I need something more than…you. I don't love you anymore! You don't even let me go to parties and be a teenager anymore! Let alone go to the bathroom by myself! I don't love you…" I murmured again and again.

The weight on my shoulders seemed to disappear. I smiled to myself then looked back up at Edward, "We're over. I know you've lied to me. And I cant take this. We are done!" I breathed out. "WOW! That felt…great."

I was suddenly being thrown against a wall, my head hit the tiled wall and I didn't even have time to scream before his hand was over my mouth. His eyes were black as night and he truly looked like a vampire.

He was going to drain me.

I tried to scream.

What about Jacob?

What about the pack?

What about Charlie?

Angela?

Renee?

"I want you, you are mine. And if you don't want that…no one will have you ever again."

I sobbed, he was too strong…I couldn't get away!

He lowered his head to my neck, kissed it once then opened his mouth and placed his teeth on my jugular. He was about to pierce the skin when he was thrown off of me. I opened my eyes to see Emmett holding Edward down, Rose and Jasper were in the doorway while Alice picked me up off the floor.

She ran me to her and Jasper's room. The others joined us soon.

"Edward left, he's going to Denali," Emmett announced. He kneeled in front of me and smiled, "You okay Little Sister?"

"Yeah I'm fine," I smiled.

Alice was suddenly lost in a vision. We all watched her when she squealed. "Okay Edward will be coming back in five days. We all are leaving in four days on a road trip," she grinned.

"In my Jeep?" Em asked excitedly.

"Nope," Alice smiled. "RV!"

"Going where?"

"TEXAS!"

"YES!" Jasper fell to the floor.

"Time for shopping, Bella!" Rose and Alice grinned.

"Fine but for what?" I asked.

"Boots, jeans, shirts, underwear and some other stuff. Oh and a cowboy hat."

"Okay, sounds fun! Let's go," I stood up.

They looked shocked. They ran me out to the car. We drove to the mall and they brought me straight to the Shoe Department.

They grabbed a bunch of pairs of boots. I got five pairs of boots, two were ankle-high, and three were knee-high, they all had a heel to them and were black or brown.

We went to look for jeans next. Alice shoved me straight into a dressing room. Jeans flew over the door one after another. Jeans, jean shorts, short-shorts, jean skirts… Lots of jean types. I ended up getting fifteen pairs of jean types.

This went on for hours. We went to about two dozen stores.

I was so tired by the time we went home.

"Bella," I woke up to Jasper saying lowly.

"Hey Jazz, what's up?"

"Em, you and I are going to find an RV today, come on!" He helped me out of bed smiling.

"Thanks, I'll be ready in…forty-five minutes. I took a shower and got ready then got dressed in my black jeans, a black tank top with a flowy white lace tank top over it. I put on a pair of white flip-flops, threw on some make up and went downstairs. I made myself breakfast and ate quickly.

"COME ON BELLS!" Emmett threw me over his shoulder and brought me to his Jeep. He put me in the seat between the passenger seat and drivers seat.

He started driving as soon as Jasper was in the car.

"We're gonna look for something that fits eight people," Jazz said.

"Why eight?"

"I don't know, Alice said eight," Jazz shrugged.

"Weird."

We arrived at some strange RV store. As soon as we stepped out of the car a man who looked like a pedophile was immediately in front of us. Jasper pulled me behind himself, shielding me.

"May I help you with anything?" Heehee… His voice was funny. Like Dracula.

"We're looking for an RV that will fit eight people," Emmett grinned, looking down at the creepy man whose eyes were fixed on me.

He looked like a rat to be honest. He had a slight hunch back, his teeth were messed up and yellow. His hair was long, he wore it half-way up and his mustache and beard met and connected with his frizzy red-gray hair. He was balding. His eyes were squinted, and a strange blue color. The man was smiling at me creepily.

"Right this way," he turned and led us to a large RV. Inside it seemed to be even larger, there was a complete kitchen in the dining room/living room. There were chairs that turned into beds. One large bed was in the back of the RV and one was a compartment above the drivers' head. There was a television and a bathroom.

"Wow…" I muttered.

Suddenly the lanky, mousy man was in front of me. "You like that?"

"U-um…. Where the fuck did you come from?" I blinked rudely.

Emmett leaned down, "Shake them tah-tahs… We wanna buy for a good price. Not rent for a bazillion dollars per hour. C'mon."

I wasn't shy about… 'Tah-tahs.' I was pretty proud actually. For a while I was really self conscious though. Not so much any more. I looked over at Jazz and Em who did a little shake with their chests.

"Well originally I am from Okalahoma," he smiled and I saw two of his teeth were missing.

"Okalahoma? Really?" I tossed my hair over my shoulder and leaned over the counter we were standing by. "That's really interesting… What part?" I licked my lips. HAHAHA!

"S-south… I'm Harry," he introduced.

I saw a bunch of his chest hair, yes he was in fact hairy. Oh no that was his name! Got it…

"Bella, nice to meet you hairy…" I was thoroughly disgusted.

He paused, thinking of something to talk about, "Sometimes I have to shave so much it clogs the shower drain…" Did he seriously just say that! "Now you say something…"

I covered my disgust by giggling, "Your _so_ funny!" More like gross. "But I'm sure all the girls say that!"

Like his mom?

"Will you have sexual relations with me?" he asked excitedly.

"Whoa!" I gasped. "Hows 'bout we take this _slow_…" I bit my lip, so what if I was getting into it? I'd never done this before…it was fun.

"Okay! Can I see your cell phone?" He asked.

I nodded and gave it to him.

He dialed something in and gave me it back. "Now I'm added in your contacts!"

"Okay cool, oh about the RV-"

"$5,000 to buy!" he grinned, looking me up and down.

Emmett already had his wallet out, he paid the man…Harry hairy in cash. "Now please, get out of my property," Emmett threw him out.

"Wow…" Jasper said. "That was…"

"AWESOME!" Emmett boomed as we drove away. "Hey Belly-bean, how's it feel to be eye-fucked by a creepy old pedophile?"

"Jasper, could you…?"

"Of course my dear sister," he slapped Emmett in the back of the head.

"HEY! That was NOT nice Bella."

"I'm sorry Emmy…" I hugged him.

"It's okay you whore…"

"WHORE?" I shouted.

"You did get pretty into that flirting…" Em muttered.

Jazz laughed, "That guy was giving so much lust off I had stop myself from attacking the table."

I laughed.

We got home soon and Alice moved the entire packed luggage into the compartments.

"I already told your dad we were going on a road trip. He's fine with it," Alice grinned.

"Great!"

That night I woke up about five times, twice because I had a nightmare where Edward drained me dry. And the other three I woke up to Esme gasping Carlisle's name, Alice calling Jasper's name, and Emmett crying Rose's name. Haha…

But I wasn't in the best mood the next morning. Lousy night…Lousy dreams…Lousy neighbors having sex… Maybe that only bothered me because I was sexually repressed? Whatever. But yes, I am still a virgin. Unfortunately. I'm a horny, hormonal teenager and it really sucks because there's an Empath in the house and he knows how I feel. Horny. Needy.

Fuck!

But today it was worse than usual. Not because of last night, but some days it's just worse.

Emmett and I played Halo all day while I stayed in my pajamas and ate pizza. I won once, I was off today. Lousy night equals lousy Halo skills equals lousy day I suppose.

Maybe I was just PMS-ing? Whatever.

At five thirty I made Jasper and Emmett watch all of the Harry Potter movies. It wasn't too hard, Rose watched it too. We both thought Ron, Fred, Harry, and Draco were sexy beasts.

"No way!" I shouted, "Harry is way better than Fred."

"No, no, no! Fred is sexy AND funny," Rose exclaimed.

"SO? Harry is sexy, funny, selfless, he defeated Voldemort a MILLION times AND he's friendly," I explained loudly.

"Fine," Rose squinted.

"Thought so…"

Alice, Esme and Carlisle had gone hunting.

"You know, you haven't been talking in your sleep very often Bella," Jasper said.

"Huh… Weird."

"Yes…"

Rose asked me, "Have you ever been to Texas?"

"Never," I shook my head.

"You'll love it!" Jazz grinned.

I fell asleep soon after that.

Tell me what you think

**XOXO**

**JORDAN**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh. My. God.**

**Thank you so much for your comments.**

**Thanks for being so nice also, but if there's anything wrong…**

**TELL ME!**

**But still it means so much. I appreciate it A LOT!**

_Alice, Esme and Carlisle had gone hunting._

"_You know, you haven't been talking in your sleep very often Bella," Jasper said._

"_Huh… Weird."_

"_Yes…"_

_Rose asked me, "Have you ever been to Texas?"_

"_Never," I shook my head._

"_You'll love it!" Jazz grinned._

_I fell asleep soon after that._

Chapter Two

"No don't wake her…" I heard Carlisle murmur. "Just move her to the RV, don't wake her!"

I peeked my right eye open, Carlisle and Alice were in the doorway. Oh yeah, we were leaving today! I hopped out of bed, "Hey Dr. Daddy! Hey Ali! Time to go right?" I grinned.

"Oh good morning," Carlisle laughed. "And yes it is time to go."

"Woo-hoo! Okay let's go!" I got dressed and did what I had to do then went to the RV. Esme was in the drivers seat.

"Good morning dear," she smiled to me.

"Good mornin' Mommy!" I grinned and hugged her.

"Are you hungry Bella?" She asked.

"Na, I'm okay for now. But thanks."

Carlisle got in the vehicle followed by Jazz, Ali, Rose and Emmett. The door closed and we sped down the road. I went to the bathroom with my make up bag and put on my make up. Alice and Rose were standing in the doorway, waiting for me to finish. When I did they grabbed me and sat me on the sofa between the two of them.

"We should arrive in Texas tomorrow at noon," Alice grinned.

"I wonder how Peter and Char are doing?" Jasper said.

"Peter's fine, he's bored." Alice answered.

"And Charlotte?"

"You'll find out," she said cryptically.

He groaned.

"Know what I wanna play?" Emmett grinned.

"What?" Rose asked.

"Strip Poker!" He exclaimed.

"Emmett…" Carlisle said.

"Myes?" He chuckled, putting an M in front of his question.

"No strip poker."

"UGH! Fine, be that way!" He sighed dramatically.

My stomach growled and I hopped up, I walked to the small refrigerator and grabbed an orange. I bit the peel to open it a bit so I could peel the rest off. The taste was awful. I gagged and spit out the tartish nasty taste that stuck to my teeth. "NAG! GROSS!" I spit again into the sink.

Em and Jazz were in hysterics and everyone else was trying not to laugh. I peeled the rest of the orange peel off. I sat down on the counter and ate the orange.

Esme stopped the car suddenly, "What's happening?" I asked.

"We need gas," she said.

"Ah…" I said, trying not to laugh. "Heehee…gas."

Carlisle shook his head, smiling.

Em turned on the television and turned it to Family Guy. The one where Peter joined a football team.

Soon we were back on the road. We were already in Utah by the time I went to bed. I slept above the driver and passenger's seat, in the compartment. I surprisingly had a lot of room. It was so comfortable I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke up to a phone ringing. It was Jasper's cell phone. "Hello?" he answered. "Hey fucker!"… "Yeah we're in New Mexico." … "We'll be there in an hour or so." …. "Bye."

I fell back to sleep.

When I woke up again I had fallen out of my compartment and onto the floor. I'd landed on my stomach, my wrist hurt a little but that was all. I groaned and stood up, cracking my neck. Then I opened my eyes.

We were parked. Emmett was rolling on the floor in fits of laughter, Alice was giggling, Jasper was staring at me, trying not to laugh, and Rose was laughing as well. Carlisle was fighting a smile and Esme looked concerned but she was laughing as well…

Then there was one person I didn't know. He was beautiful though. He had pale skin, beautiful floppy brown hair. He was very well built. Like, really! And his eyes were a beautiful shade of red. His jaw was strong and his lips were full. Wow… He was a sexy human-drinking beast. Da-YUM!

"Um…Good morning?" I smiled nervously.

"Good morning dear," Esme smiled.

"Bella this is Peter, Peter this is Bella," Jasper introduced.

Peter…

"Nice to meet you Peter," I smiled.

"Pleasure to meet you too Bella," he smiled back.

"If you'll all excuse me for a moment. I need to take a shower and uh other stuff," I murmured, walking to the bathroom. The bathroom was small. Like, really small. I locked the door, stripped and turned on the water.

"MOTHER FUCK!" I shrieked.

"What's the matter? What happened? Are you okay?" I heard them all shout.

"FUCKING HOT!" I shrieked. I turned the nozzle and it became freezing. "Holy Jesus… Fuck that's cold!" I shivered.

"Well get it to the middle then dear!" Esme called.

"It is in the middle. Ah, fuck it! Cold shower it is." I shivered again.

When I finished I turned the water off and wrapped myself in a towel.

"Forget something Belly?" Alice giggled from the other side of the door.

I opened the door slightly, "Alice can you please get me some clothes?"

"Nope, you gotta get it yourself."

"Alice," I hissed. "Please!"

"Nope," she giggled.

I sighed and walked out the door, everyone was still there. Including Peter.

Awesome… (Note my sarcasm)

"Cold Bella?" Emmett grinned deviously.

"Shut up Emma."

He growled. "Anyhow, like I was saying before Bella so RUDELY interrupted. I told her to shake it so we could get a good deal on the RV. She is very good at it, Pete, so Bells here-"

"Can you wait till I leave the room for you to embarrass me Em?" I asked.

"Nope," he smirked.

I maturely stuck my tongue out at him then grabbed a pair of dark tight jeans and a black undershirt, a see-through red half-sleeve scoop neck shirt and my black boots. I changed in the bathroom, then put on my make up and did what I needed to do.

Then I walked out of the bathroom just as Emmett finished telling the story that embarrassed me. They all looked over at me, chuckling.

Jasper, sensing my embarrassment, turned to Peter, "So how's Char?" He wondered.

"She left me a few years ago, but fine I guess," he shrugged.

"I'm sorry man, why'd she leave?"

"Dunno," he said.

They all continued with their conversation, Peter kept glancing at me. I was getting hungry so I grabbed another orange and tried to start it with my nails, of course it didn't work. It never did. I cringed, knowing what would come. I bit into the peel then drew back, I gagged and spit into the sink. It was suddenly quiet. I turned to look at them, they were looking at me. Peter looked concerned though.

"Sorry, it's the orange's fault…" I blushed.

Emmett started laughing loudly, he picked me up into a large hug. He shook me slightly while he laughed. "Oh humans…Love ya Bellsy."

"Yeah love you too Em," I said.

The other Cullen's were in hysterics while Peter was glaring daggers at Emmett.

"Can I eat my orange now?" I asked.

"Sure," Em set me down and I peeled the rest of the orange then took a slice of the orange and ate it, of course, nothing is ever easy is it?

The orange sprayed me in the eye, "AH! Damn you, you orange! You have betrayed me!"

They all laughed at this. I sighed and ate the rest of the orange. "Yummy," I grinned.

Soon we all went into Peter's house. They explained why we had come here. Edward. He understood.

"Okay, everyone! Bella is going to get her period in two weeks!" Alice announced.

I looked at her sharply, my mouth hanging open, eyes wide, "ALICE! Why the fuck would you announce that?" I hissed.

"Just a heads up," she smiled.

I shook my head, I was mortified to be honest! Jasper knew this and shoved feelings of comfort at me. I shot him a grateful look. He smiled.

Peter showed us around the house and Alice and I brought in the bags. Half of which were Alice's. I saw Peter and Jazz speaking to each other, but it was too fast and too soft for me to understand.

I heard Emmett yell, "Seriously Petey? That's great! But you hurt her and I'll kill you!"

My phone started to ring so I stepped outside, though they could all hear my conversation. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Baby," Renee exclaimed.

"Oh hi Ren-mom. What's going on?" I asked. She doesn't usually call… Just e-mail.

"I wanted to see how you and Edward are doing?" She asked. That wasn't all though. I knew it.

"We broke up mom," I said.

"Oh honey I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm glad. What else did you want mom?" I wondered.

"Phil and I are…" she trailed off.

I gasped, "Your pregnant! I knew this would happen! What did I tell you about using protection? Did you really forget? Did you really… God, Renee! Your supposed to be responsible with sex. Did you forget the song? It's not THAT hard to remember."

"I'm pregnant, no we didn't use protection, yes I forgot the song. I don't care what you say, it is a hard song. It isn't Phil's baby…" She whispered the last part.

"WHAT!" I shouted. "How could you do that to Phil? Oh my God… Mom! UGH!" I scolded. "You cheated on your husband?"

"Yes…" she sighed.

"Jesus Christ… I wish you'd have at least some self respect. Why would you do this Renee?"

"Don't call me Renee! I am your mother."

"Yeah and my mother just so happens to be a major slut. Any siblings I don't know about?" I asked.

She hesitated.

"Oh are you serious? I have a brother or sister I don't even know?" I snarled.

"Three…" she murmured. "Three older brothers."

"Fuck… Okay."

She hesitated again, "C-can I hear the song?"

"Fine. But I don't see the point considering, well your pregnant. And it's not Phil's…" I trailed off.

"Shut up and do the damn song!" She growled.

I started to the rhythm of 'Ding Fries Are Done, Ding Fries Are Done.' You know? That song. "Use a condom, Use a condom, or Birth control Pills. If you aint got no glove then there's no lovin'. Don't be a whore or you'll get herpes. AIDS, HPV always leads to death. Crabs are nasty and they're for life like HIV which leads to AIDS which kills ya'. During sex be lady don't be naughty. Cum is natural but never taste or swallow. If there's no protection and you want it…Handys, fingerin', and oral are all acceptable choices. Keep a vibrator under your bed…Just for fun." The last part was whispered.

"Now I remember!" she exclaimed. "Thanks bye."

"Bye."

I walked inside, everyone was laughing uncontrollably. Peter was rolling on the floor while Emmett was trying not to fall to the floor. Rose and Alice were clutching their sides. Jasper was on the floor, Esme was clutching Carlisle and Carlisle was holding onto Esme. Their laughter was practically deafening.

Alice controlled herself enough to say, "So, you have a vibrator under your bed?" Then she laughed some more.

Emmett was next to get out, "HAHAHAHA Ju-just so you know HAHHAHAHA guys l-like when HAHAHAHA girls are HAHAHA naughty n-not lady-like! HAHAHAHA!"

I chuckled.

Soon the laughter died down.

"You realize that cum isn't poisonous, right?" Peter smiled from the floor.

"Yeah," I laughed.

"So do you seriously have a vibrator under your bed?" Alice asked.

I hesitated, "Well…yes but I never use it. Ever."

They all started laughing again.

Fuck.

Awesome.

**Tell me what you think.**

**Thanks for the reviews and such.**

**XOXO,**

**Jordan**


	3. Chapter 3

_I walked inside, everyone was laughing uncontrollably. Peter was rolling on the floor while Emmett was trying not to fall to the floor. Rose and Alice were clutching their sides. Jasper was on the floor, Esme was clutching Carlisle and Carlisle was holding onto Esme. Their laughter was practically deafening. _

_Alice controlled herself enough to say, "So, you have a vibrator under your bed?" Then she laughed some more. _

_Emmett was next to get out, "HAHAHAHA Ju-just so you know HAHHAHAHA guys l-like when HAHAHAHA girls are HAHAHA naughty n-not lady-like! HAHAHAHA!"_

_I chuckled. _

_Soon the laughter died down._

"_You realize that cum isn't poisonous, right?" Peter smiled from the floor._

"_Yeah," I laughed._

"_So do you seriously have a vibrator under your bed?" Alice asked._

_I hesitated, "Well…yes but I never use it. Ever."_

_They all started laughing again._

_Fuck. _

_Awesome._

Chapter Three

As I woke up the next morning the dreams of the night before flooded through my mind. Oh shit, that's embarrassing. I had, had a…sex dream. About who you ask? Hahaha…well uh his name starts with a P. That's all I'm giving away. Don't ask anymore.

The house was loud. I could hear Alice calling Jasper's name, like a couple of nights before. It was all the same except I could hear Peter, in the bathroom. Shit… I didn't do this. Right?

No, no, it was only a sex dream.

Fuckin' horniness…

I ignored it and took a shower, got ready and threw on jeans, boots and a floral strapless shirt. I put on my make up and went downstairs where everyone else sat in the living room, they all had sex hair. I tried to pretend like I didn't notice. "G'morning!" I smiled and made myself breakfast.

After I finished my breakfast, I washed my plate and turned to see everyone glaring at me.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You were sending out too much lust last night! I couldn't contain it!" Jasper shouted. "Damn you and your sex dreams."

"I can't control it! I am a hormonal teenager. Not my fault Eddie couldn't come through to my needs," I rolled my eyes.

"Haha… You're a virgin!" Emmett boomed a laugh out.

"Yep I am," I nodded.

"Ha…Loser."

"Bastard…" I murmured lowly.

He frowned.

"Anyways, back to the point… Who was the dream about? Hmm…?" Jasper asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"No one…" I lied.

"Tell!"

"Okay I dreamt of….myself." I shrugged.

It wasn't a lie.

I was in the dream wasn't I?

"Only yourself?" Emmett gasped.

"Me. Myself. And I. Awesome threesome," I winked.

They all looked shocked.

"What? I am one sexy ass human. Of course I like what I see when I'm walking passed a mirror. I mean, honestly who wouldn't? I can't help I'm sexy," I said confidently, smirking.

"Ya damn right!" Emmett high-fived me.

"Geez Bells, when you were with Edward you seemed like…a nun. But more modest…I like this better," Rose winked.

"Me too Rose, me too," I smiled.

Jasper butted in, "As much as we all agree this Bella is WAY more awesome than she was with Ed…she isn't telling the complete truth…"

I didn't let my face falter, I sent a wave of anger and threat toward Jasper. Then one of pleas.

"Ah, never mind."

I shot him a grateful glance and Peter swung an arm around my waist, standing next to me suddenly. "So, do tell…what exactly happen with this amazing threesome?" He rose one eyebrow.

My heart rate sped up a bit and I blushed. "Nothing that would be lady-like… like Emmett said, no one likes a lady in bed, now, do they?" I challenged.

"So you, yourself and you were gettin' naughty?" He smiled, his southern accent thickening slightly.

I tried my best innocent look, "Who ever said that?"

"I did ma'am," he winked.

"Well fine. And you are correct."

He grinned.

Holy fuck, he is gorgeous.

Alice reached out, went in my pocket and grabbed my phone just before it began to ring.

"Hello?" She answered. "Hi Charlie and no it's Alice." … "Yeah it's fun" … "Sure she's right here." She handed the phone to me.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey Bells, uh…how is everything going…?" He asked awkwardly.

"Fine," I retorted.

"Embarrass yourself yet?" he asked bluntly.

"Yes in fact I have. Thanks. About three times maybe more?" I offered.

He laughed then cleared his throat. "Well uh…ya' see Bella…I kind of… Burnt down the kitchen."

I blinked, "You're kidding."

"Nope…"

"Wow."

"It's fixed already but I need to make some hot dogs…Jake and Billy are coming over. So uh how long does it boil? It's been boiling now for twenty minutes."

"For God's sakes Man! Take it off the burner! Now!" I directed loudly. No, no, no, not yelling.

"Okay, okay! It's off!" He shouted.

"Good, Jesus…"

"Sorry Bella…" He apologized.

"It's okay dad. But just remember next time, it doesn't need that long. Okay?" I said.

"Sure, sure. Okay well I gotta go Bells. Bye."

We hung up.

"Wanna go to the Zoo?" Emmett grinned.

I shrugged.

Peter said he'd go, Rose nodded. Everyone else agreed.

We all piled into the RV. I sat in a chair, Alice drove and Jasper sat in the passenger seat. Em and Rose were sitting on the couch. Esme and Carlisle sat at the table and Peter sat on the counter, in front of me.

"How d'ya like Texas?" He asked.

"I like it," I smiled.

"ASK HER ALREADY!" Emmett boomed.

Peter growled at him, "I'll ask when I want to, _Child_. But I was just about to, jack ass."

I stifled my laugh.

Peter turned to me, "I was going to ask, if you would like to go out sometime?" He was smiling slightly but he looked nervous.

I was stunned, really. Shocked. I nodded my head slightly, "Y-Y-Yes."

"Great." He grinned. "Tonight all right?"

I nodded, still shocked shitless. (No I did NOT void my bowels.)

We got to the Zoo soon and we all exited the RV. People stared. Shamelessly. We went straight to look at the animals after we paid. Peter held my hand, which surprised me even more. Emmett led us straight to the money exhibit.

"Hey look! They're doin' it!" Emmett boomed.

A child with his parents, tugged on my pant leg. I turned and Peter turned too, wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his head on mine.

"Will you go on that with me? My mommy and daddy won't. Will you? Please?" He begged pointing to the carousel.

Emmett's booming laughter filled the area. Peter was shaking with silent laughter.

I giggled and flicked Peter lightly in the nose. He looked at me in surprise. I giggled a little more and turned back to the child, "Sure Sweetheart."

He held his hand out and I took it, and we walked to the line. We got on the ride and he ran me around the ride until he found the horse he wanted. He told me to sit on the one next to him. Of course I had to be the one on the outside but I did anyway.

"I'm Jack," he smiled cheekily.

"I'm Bella."

He blushed.

It started and the horses went up and down. Shit, I didn't know they move!

"OF COURSE THEY MOVE BELLA!" I heard Emmett boom.

Oh shit I said that out loud!

"YEAH YOU DID!"

Fuck…

"STOP CURSING, YOU SAILOR!"

Fine!

"I AM NOT A SAILOR EMMA! SHUT YOUR FACE!"

Soon the ride was over and Jack thanked me as I brought him to his parents. They thanked me as well and someone's cold arms wrap around my waist and I was set on someone's back. Peter.

"C'mon Belly! Let's look at the lions." Jasper grinned excitedly.

I looked at him in surprise. Peter followed behind, "So Darlin' what do you wanna do tonight?" He asked me.

"Mmm… No. It's up to you. You choose."

"Okay," he thought. "A movie."

"Cool, cool!" I grinned and started playing with his hair.

"What're ya doing?"

"Playing with your awesome hair."

He laughed.

As we approached the lion's exhibit we heard the lions growling.

"HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT!" I shrieked, clutching myself closer to Peter, one hand over his mouth and nose and the other on his chest while my legs stuck straight out. They all turned to look at me. "Lions growl?"

They all burst out laughing. "Of course dip-shit! Even I knew that!" Emmett laughed.

"Yeah even Emmett knew that!" Alice giggled.

"Well, I am sorry," I rolled my eyes while Em glared at Alice. "I thought they just roared and stuff."

"They growl too…" Peter murmured against my hand.

I relaxed myself, "Well I know that now Peter! Gosh…excuse my stupidity," I groaned sarcastically.

We continued walking around the Zoo. But all too soon Emmett roared back at the bears when they roared and we had to leave because he'd drawn attention to themselves.

"So...you dumb fuck, you realize you are a fucking idiot. Correct?" I asked as we walked onto the RV.

"Bella!" Esme gasped. "Language!"

"Sorry Mommy…" I looked down shamefully.

Emmett hissed, "Yeah Bella. Be nice to your older brother. Don't curse at me. It hurts me. It pains me deep."

I hung my head even lower out of regret.

Peter lifted my chin up slightly. "You aren't below him. Don't be ashamed Baby."

I nodded and stuck my tongue out at Emmett who grinned.

I heard Peter murmur almost too low for me to hear, "That's _my _girl. Good girl." But I couldn't be sure…

We talked the entire way back to his house.

Once we got home I mean Peter's house, we set a time for the movies. 7:45. It was 5:20. Alice grabbed me and ran me into my room and opened a drawer. She threw a pair of brown short shorts at me and a black tank top then disappeared. I figured it was to let me change. I changed and she was suddenly there. She threw a new pair of brown flat boots which I put on.

She looked at the outfit and reapplied my make up. "All right! And it's time for you to leave! Have fun! Be naughty," she whispered the last part as she followed me downstairs.

I laughed and ran straight into Peter's chest, I looked up, "Oh! I am so sorry!" I exclaimed.

"No problem Darlin'," He winked. "Now c'mon. Time for our date," he linked our arms and walked me to a bike. A Ducati.

"Holy shit, nice bike Petey," I smiled. He smiled too and climbed on. Sex on wheels. Damn he was sexy.

"Climb on," he urged. I did and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Hold on tight." And he took off. He was the most reckless driver I had ever driven with! And I loved it. I kept my arms locked around him, pressed into his muscular back. Not to mention the horns blaring and people shouting at us. It was amazing to be quite honest!

He looked back at me every few minutes, to make sure I wasn't on the verge of fainting I'm guessing.

Soon he skidded to a halt and parked the bike. He climbed off and helped me off, "THAT WAS SO FUN!" I practically shrieked.

"Glad you like my drivin'." He chuckled, examining me. He smiled at the look of my hair.

"Is it bad? My hair I mean."

"No, here I'll fix it for ya," he brushed some hair to the side and ran his fingers through it a few times. He leaned his lips down to mine, but I took a step back. He cleared his throat, I didn't miss the look that crossed his face. But he quickly regained his normal look.

"Come on, we don't wanna miss the previews," he chortled sarcastically. I smiled. We linked arms and went to get our tickets. Ramona and Bezzus that's what we were seeing.

We were half way through the movie when I looked over at Peter. He was looking at me as well. We both leaned in then I bit my lip and faced the screen.

The movie was good and I'm not embarrassed to say…I did tear up.

Peter grinned at me as we walked back outside, to the Ducati. "Ever driven a motor bike?"

"Yes I have," I smiled.

His grin widened "Wanna do it again?"

"Sure, but you have to make sure I wont make up crash!" I demanded.

"Agreed," he nodded.

We climbed on and one hand was on my waist while the other was at my right wrist. I drove up the road quickly and he whispered in my ear, "You're doing great."

I continued driving till we reached home.

We climbed back off the bike and walked to the door. We turned and faced each other. He leaned in and I turned my head.

"No kiss?" he asked. He sounded defeated.

"Not on the first date. I don't wanna be a hussie," I replied. I sighed, "Look I like you so…ugh. Look, I want to be your shipoopi."

"My what?"

"Shipoopi…you know!" I exclaimed.

"Now, a woman who'll kiss on a very first date is usually a hussie. And a woman who'll kiss on a second time out is anything but fussy. But a woman who'll wait till the third time around head in the clouds, feet on the ground. She's the girl he's glad he's found  
she's his Shipoopi!Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, (The girl who'sh ard to get) Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, (But you can win her yet.)" I sang.

"Walk her once just to raise the curtain, walk around twice, and you've made for certain. Once more in the flower garden, she will never get sore if you beg your pardon. Do re mi fa so la si do si fa so la mi re do. Squeeze her once when she isn't looking, get a squeeze back that's fancy cooking. Once more for pepper-upper, she will never get sore on the way to supper." I continued to sing the song.

"Do re me fa so la si do si do. Now little ole Sall's a no-gal as anyone can see, look at her now: she's a go gal who only goes for me. Squeeze her once when she isn't looking, get a squeeze back that's fancy cooking. Once more for a pepper-upper, she will never get sore on the way to re me fa so la si do si do! Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, (The girl who's hard to get)" I added a little dance, I am sure I look like an idiot.

"Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, (But you can win her yet.) Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, (The girl who's hard to get,) Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,(But you can win her yet  
yoouu caann wiinn heerr yeeeettttt...SHIPOOPI!" I finished the song.

He was just staring at me, confused. "So three dates, eh?"

"Correct."

"Okay, would you like to do something tomorrow Darlin'?"

"Sure," I nodded, grinning.

"Great, I had a good time Bella," he smiled opening the door.

"I did too."

Soon I went upstairs and went to bed. No sex dreams tonight. Just dreams of Peter. It was the best night I had ever had.

**I hope you enjoyed. **

**Oh. My. God.**

**Thanks so much for all the comments!**

**You're all amazzzzzzing!**

**XOXO,**

**Jordan**


	4. Chapter 4

Hi guys… It's uh, certainly been a while.

Two years…

Sorry.

I feel guilty.

But I just saw your reviews and I thought to myself… Jor…Y U NO WRITE?

So I decided it was time (after two years) to write!

All these songs are legit, look 'em up… Except the sex song. I made that up in all my humor. Yes I know she's immature buuut I am too. Even after all this time? Always. (Harry Potter reference) And so yeah.

HUZZAH!

Chapter Four

"Wow Bells, you attract pedophiles really well," Jasper snorted the next morning at IHOP. (Of course I was the only one eating, which to others probably made me look like a fat-fat-fatty.) "Just while you were coming back from the bathroom even!"

"Jail bait!" Emmett sang out.

"Shu' u' 'm twyin' tuh ea' muh pahcakes!" I exclaimed with a mouthful of chocolate chip pancakes smothered in syrup.

"So ladylike Pete…nice score," Jasper clapped Peter's back.

Peter and I rolled our eyes and I murmured, "He likes it."

"I do," he winked. "My girl's gotta eat."

"Dang right I gotta."

Alice, Rose, Carlisle and Esme had stayed home. Alice was picking out my outfit for Peter and my date tonight, Rose was reading Cosmo, and Carlisle and Esme were probably having sex.

"Agh!" I squealed, throwing my fork down.

"What? What is it?" Jasper asked.

"I just imagined…" I gagged. "Esme and Carlisle…having sex. Agh! I'm no longer hungry!"

Flashes of their faces replacing common porn star's faces as they engaged in sexy sex raced through my mind. BDSM…S&M…Animal style…in the butt…oral…dildos…vibrators…dirty talk…

Not that I watch porn.

…All the time.

…Every time I'm alone and the Cullen's go hunting…

Ahem.

"Oh…Oh!" Emmett cringed. "Now it's in my head. It's like Inception but not at all like Inception!"

"Why would you say this? Oh, I walked in on them once…! I meant to!" Jasper cried. "It was horrifying! I wish I hadn't!"

Peter rubbed his temples, "Ahhhh I don't want to think anymore!"

Near to vomiting I paid for my food and nearly dragged the three grown ass male vampires to the car as they shook with disgust.

I drove us back to the house, occasionally slapping myself across the face to focus on the road instead of Carlisle and Esme's sex.

"Rose likes S&M!" Emmett cried.

"Alice likes doing it at the mall in her favorite stores!" Jasper shouted.

"Bella and I haven't had sex but I wanna do it on my motorcycle!" Peter exclaimed.

"I bet Esme likes role play," I whispered as I turned the car off and got out, leaving the three boys groaning in the back seat.

A few hours later the boys all shambled in greeting us all hello as we watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. "Hello boys," Esme grinned at them who muttered lowly and kept their eyes downcast.

"BDSM!" I screamed and the boys winced. Em squeezed between Alice and Rose and Jazz picked Alice up and sat her on his lap.

Peter suddenly had me on the ground with him and winked, "I do believe you and I have a date this evening. What are we doing?"

"Miniature golfing my dear Pete," I grinned. "Excited?"

"Yep. Guess what though," he nudged me.

"What?"

"It's a double date," he winked.

"Oh really? Who else is going?"

"Us!" Emmett grinned.

"Us too!" Alice beamed.

"So it's a triple date then!" I laughed. "When will this be?"

"Tonight. Seven."

Alice shot out of her seat and immediately dragged Rose and I up the stairs. "Get dressed! Come on!" She was already stripping down to get in her outfit. "And don't worry Bells. We won't be crotch blocks, give us the signal and I'll just make up an excuse. So what'll be the signal?"

"Maybe…" Rosalie murmured before gesturing wildly with her hands.

"No, no," Alice shook her head. "How about…" she scratched her left eyebrow.

"That works," I shrugged.

I began stripping down as Alice and Rose were putting on their make up. I pulled on a pair of tight jeans Alice had laid out, with boots that went up to mid-calf along with a teal v-neck tank top. I popped a piece of gum in my mouth before Alice started painting the war paint on my face.

Rose brushed through my thick, dark hair after Alice finished my make up.

"Okay finished just in time," grinned Alice. "Let's meet them then."

Alice and Rose dashed out of the room with inhuman speed and I followed behind at the average walking pace.

"You look lovely," smiled Peter.

"As do you."

He grabbed my hand and led me to his motor bike, "Meet you there," he waved at the others.

I hopped on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. His oh, so muscular waist. _Oh gosh, don't…don't start hormones. He's attractive. BE HIS SHAPOOPI! Don't mess this up. Don't give it up. Oh my goodness I want to lick his face… He's so hot I just want to rub my face on his face. I'd f him… I'd f him so hard._

It wasn't long before we got there.

He helped me off the bike and got our balls(Heehee) and clubs. Rose and Emmett weren't paying attention and were still at the fourth hole while we were heading to the sixth. They were too wrapped up in each other. Alice and Jasper were almost as into each other's business but just paid a little more attention to the game than Em and Rose.

For Peter and I, our conversation was nonstop. I loved it. But I couldn't stop thinking about how soft his lips looked and how much I wanted him.

The flirting was continuous, physically and verbally.

On the thirteenth hole I couldn't stand it anymore, the sexual tension was just too much! Jasper was secreting lust. I itched. I did it. I. Itched. My. Left. Eyebrow.

Alice suddenly looked up at me, winked, poked Rose and the four all slunk off.

"So you want to know why I invited the other four along?" Peter grinned widely.

"Yes, definitely please."

"Now we've gone on four dates," he snorted. "Yesterday and now a triple date."

"Good enough logic for me!"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer. "You know I really like you."

"I like you a lot too," he murmured. "And you are my Shapoopi."

"That is the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me ever," I said.

"Well I've got a lot more to tell you which you'll like even better."

"Don't tell me just yet," I breathed, leaning on my tip-toes. His hand found my lower back, pulling even closer to me he then lightly pressed his cold lips to mine.

My arms immediately wrapped around his neck and I dropped my golf club hearing it land with a thud. He laced his fingers on his left hand through my hair. It was the best kiss ever. My foot popped, not literally of course but as it does in the Princess Diaries.

No one could ever have a better kiss. In the history of ever.

It felt as if I was making out with some sort of magical, beautiful something. Grindylow?

I never wanted to ever stop. He slowly walked me backward, pressing me slightly to a small post. Magical. Legit.

"OH THE BETRAYL!" an all too familiar voice cried from not too far away. Peter pulled away only to see hairy Harry looking distraught.

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! I want to have your children! WHY! I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL STRANGER! I WAS GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU! AND I FOLLOW YOU ALL THE WAY TO TEXAS, although I did lose you but I found you my love this morning at IHOP. But you're-you're here with this…thing! WHY? I LOVE YOU!"

"Run," I whispered to Peter. "Run so fast he won't see us."

He threw me over his shoulder and we were out of there. He ran us to his bike and sped off, "To the movies?"

"To the movies," I laughed.

"So do I want to know?" he asked at a red light.

"No probably not. But I'll tell you. He sold us the RV, I had to flirt with him and we got it for five thousand so it was effective. But apparently it was overly effective, hairy Harry loves me now."

"Yeesh, creep. At least you have an amazingly strong and fast vampire boyfriend to keep you safe," he patted my leg.

"Boyfriend?" I grinned.

"W-Well if I uh if you would like… I uh-" he stammered.

"I like it. My boyfriend, hmm… Yeah, that's good I really, really like it."

"What would you like to see my dear?" he asked as he pulled into a parking space.

"Hmm, maybe…Dark Shadows," I grinned as he helped me off of the bike.

"I knew you'd say that," he chuckled. "Sounds good," he kissed my cheek before leading me to the ticket booth.

We paid no attention to the movie.

It was awesome.


End file.
